From Amy Joyce's On Parenting post:
Vannucci also had a college-aged client whose parents did her homework for her. The client’s mother explained that she didn’t want her daughter to struggle the same way she had. The daughter, however, “has grown up to be an adult who has anxiety attacks anytime someone asks her to do something challenging” because she never learned how to handle anything on her own.
Did you hear me roll my eyes? How about this?
So what to do? Gibralter has a formula: Parents and children need to sit down and have honest conversations. “‘How do you want this to go, and when do you want me to be involved, and … how can I support you.’ That, to me, is an incredibly important conversation for parents and children to have as they head off to be freshmen in college.”
I have a migraine from all of this sarcastic eye rolling. But here is the thing, No parent thinks thinks they are a helicopter parent, but believes everyone else is. It is hard to have an honest conversation when neither party believes there is an issue.